Assertiveness may be the ability to stand up for your thoughts, feelings, or desires. This means being able to stand up for reasonable rights for setting goals, for functioning on goals by following through consistently, as well as for taking responsibility for the consequences of your actions. Taking assertive action provides you with the potential to interact with other people as adults.
Assertiveness includes an energetic orientation to life. When youre assertive, you dont wait for situations to improve, you are taking action to improve them. You need to do your homework and put forth solutions. You work toward using your full potential, and also you do it in a self-directed way. You can tell others that which you expect and what others can get from you, remind them of deadlines, of tasks to become completed, and of work toward long- and short-term goals.
Being assertive also means you can tell others about your special skills or achievements, not hide your talents and competencies. When youre assertive, you make clear, concise statements, keep to the issue or problem at hand, and can initiate and gaze after a conversation with whomever you select. Assertiveness also provides an outlet for your tension. Whenever you hold feelings in or avoid them, your anxiety level can rise. Thats why its important to learn assertiveness skills in an effort to reduce your anxiety.
Being assertive can reduce anxiety because it helps you express your feelings and thoughts directly. This can bring increased feelings of self-confidence, while reducing anxiety and physical complaints, and improving communications with others. Just remember that the purpose of being assertive isn't to get what you want but to express yourself in a calm, reasonable, respectful, and direct manner.
If your facial expression or posture is nonassertive, it wont matter what you say. Thats the reason why you also need to think about what your body is saying. Speaking loudly enough, and in a company, fluent voice, maintaining good eye contact, and taking advantage of facial expressions, gestures, body postures, and positioning that match your words are all important if you want to appear assertive. If you pause all too often, laugh nervously, look up or down or away, look angry when you claim youre not, overapologize or overexplain, get sidetracked on irrelevant issues, talk too much, dont allow others to speak, use sarcasm, whine, plead, attempt to make the other person feel guilty, roll your eyes, qualify your statements, or blame the other person, you will not appear assertive.
Shoot for a relaxed body posture. It conveys self-confidence, interest, openness, and nondefensiveness. Facing the individual youre speaking to is part of an assertive presentation, out of the box standing or sitting an appropriate distance away. Being too close or too much away will hinder being assertive.
You can practice by looking in your mirror to give you feedback about whether your words match the gestures and your posture. Mirror practice can also be helpful in rehearsing assertive statements before attempting them in real-life situations. This sort of rehearsal can build confidence so you can be assertive in the real-life situation.
Video and audio recorders also provide excellent practice in assertiveness. Audio recordings provide clues about whether you pause frequently enough, whether your words is assertive, whether you speak too quickly, and whether you stay with an issue and sound assertive.
Video feedback adds more information about eye contact, changes in body posture and positioning, facial expressions, and confidence of presentation. Probably the best use of video is for rehearsing upcoming situations you believe will evoke anxiety. Write a script for a conversation between you and another person. Record it having a friend or colleague and then evaluate whether youre pleased with your performance or not.
Another way to use video is perfect for role-playing. In this approach you tell another person about an upcoming or past situation. You'll have to coach your partner about the situation, what role each individuals will take, how the other person should act to approximate the real-life situation, and how the interchange will begin and end. A three-to-five-minute script is enough when extraneous discussions are omitted and you adhere to the main topic. Some directions to give your partner include: "Be certain to try to make me feel guilty about saying no," or "Every time I attempt to stick to the issue, you alter the subject," or "Use a really angry tone of voice, but insist youre not angry."
Utilizing a script and trying it will help you identify areas that require further practice or more information. For instance, if youre asking for a raise, its necessary to "do your homework," which means spending time thinking about your response and coming up with alternate solutions for that problem that provide adequate information for the other person to support your perspective. Youll have to show your boss exactly what youve done that justifies being rewarded having a raise.
Our website is not responsible for the information contained by this article. Articleinput.com is a free articles resource thus practically any visitor can submit an article. However if you notice any copyrighted material, please contact us and we will remove the article(s) in discussion right away.
Note: This article was sent to us by: Christian J. Owens at 02212011
1. Bipolar disorder, depression and mood swings
All articles are property of their respective authors. Please read our Privacy Policy!
© 2009 ArticleInput.com.
Partners: Damenmode