Your job, as CEO of your household and financial guru for your children, is to draw the line as to what is acceptable and what is not.
Before we can start teaching our kids about money,we have to examine our own attitude toward it. Both wealthy and poor families have one surprising trait in common: parents do not spend much time discussing money with their kids. The difference comes in the expectations. In financially wealthy families, children grow up believing that they are entitled to be rich. There is an expectation that they will complete their education, land a financially secure job, earn a lot of money, buy a big house, drive nice cars, and so on. They view money as a tool toward having a wonderful, fulfilling life.
For poor, working-, and lower-middle-class families, there are no such expectations. Parents in poor or working-class families often foster negative notions about money in their children. These parents may harbor resentment toward others who are better-off or had greater opportunities for education or work. They view money as negative, almost dirty. Rich people have gotten that way only by cheating or being dishonest. Even some wealthy people believe that "behind every great fortune is a crime."
That message can be reinforced in surprising and unconscious ways, even in church. Many believe, incorrectly, that the Bible states, "Money is the root of all evil." That's not what it says, my friend. The Bible actually says, "Love of money is the root of all evil." In other words, when we love money for its own sake above all else, that's when we run into trouble.
Here's a little quiz. Fill in the blank: Money is ... What's the first thing that came to your mind? Was it positive or negative? What are your attitudes about money? What attitudes are you consciously or unconsciously passing on to your kids? The first lesson to learn about money is that it is neutral. It is simply a form of exchange, a system with which to barter our labor and ideas for the goods and services of others. Having or lacking money doesn't make you a better or worse person.
Sometimes, in justifying our own lack of money, we tell ourselves that those who are well-off are somehow morally flawed, having obtained their wealth through the time-honored ethics of liecheat- steal. It's hard to maintain such an attitude without sharing it with our children.
Teaching our kids to be of good character is the most important thing we can do, but we need to emphasize that being of good character includes being responsible about money! Society often makes it sound as if you must choose between being spiritual and being financially successful. I'm here to tell you that's false. You can have your cake and eat it, too. One does not have to exclude the other.
The key is to remember that money is a tool, and not the key to happiness. Certainly many of the wealthy role models in the public eye are not positive examples, especially for kids. Every music video I have seen depicts success as a fancy car, attractive women, champagne, and all the other trappings of wealth. I have yet to see a rap video of a twenty-two-year-old singer studying The Wall Street Journal to figure out what the next investment should be for his retirement plan! It may not be sensual, but it's real.
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