If a man stops loving you because of the way your chest looks he is definitely not worth it. I am very honest about having had breast cancer. I tell everyone, even 8 years later. It was and still is part of my life.
Joanne
When I was first diagnosed and before my surgery I would cry after sex thinking I was going to be changed and that my husband would see me differently. But thank God for good men he has been wonderful. It just took me time to get through all the emotional turmoil I was experiencing.
Terry
I have been divorced for 8 years and have not had sex for 9. I would like to have a loving relationship with someone, but have not met any single men my age that even offered the slightest interest in me as a woman. The mastectomy just further entrenched the possibility that I may be single for the rest of my life. This offers a possibility that another relationship could develop out of friendship, even if attraction is not the catalyst. There are good men out there . . . but are any of them single?
Isurrender
My need for closeness, hugs, warm smiles, hand holding have increased while my sex drive has decreased. I think about having sex, but I'm just too tired or uncomfortable most of the time. When it does happen, I am extremely aware of what parts are missing and feel myself tighten up when he gets near.
stillhealing
I am often scared to be in love, whether it is with my husband or my 3 children. The fear of getting seriously ill again at times can be paralyzing. This was the case for me in the early years after my diagnosis. Over time, I have learned to trust more, but you never forget the road you traveled. I never want to see my family endure another serious illness with me, at least not for a long, long time. I sometimes associate love with loss. It's crazy, but I think that's what my breast cancer experience may have brought up for me as it relates to my relationships. I may be way ahead of myself and my worry sometimes gets the best of me.
Eileen
I keep going back to the idea of toxic people and tonic people. Definitely ditching the former is a good thing even if it means less nookie.
MCN
At times, I believe I was so focused on my own mortality and life that I often forgot about his fears too.
LaurieV
At age 22 I lost both breasts. I am 58 now. It has been so long, I often wonder what a breast feels like. I look at women and wonder what it would feel like to touch their breast, to feel a nipple. Not that I desire women sexually, I just want to feel a natural breast. I am a woman, a mother, and I haven't felt or seen natural breasts for 36 years. I miss them.
kathynye
I swear, I am a walking billboard for the fact that there is life after a mastectomy. When my fiancé walked out on me after my second chemo, I thought it was worse than the diagnosis. Everyone said he did you a favor because he was a rat. I didn't feel that way at the time. I suffered so my skin hurt, I so missed the touching. It was such a rough year because I read all the BS about positive thinking and I was so devastated by losing him, that I was afraid I wasn't thinking positive, so I would have a recurrence, blah blah blah. I look back at my 14 years since then and I can't believe all of my experiences with men.
It was the first time in my life I was alone, I didn't have kids home anymore, they were all in or out of college, but I was still young. I live in a golf resort community and I met some great men; one said, as I warned him I had a problem, that he was worried I was going to say I had herpes. Another loved my botched-up reconstructed breast the best. He said it was his favorite because it was so brave. I could go on but can't allow myself to think too much about ten years of being somewhat slutty since I am now married for three years and my husband would be shocked to know my past.
I had affairs with married men, one a U.S. Congressman, major CEOs, lawyers, hot shots, a good-looking young surfer who said if it came back, he would just take me to all the beaches in the world, and never once had anyone reject me because of the breast cancer. I think now it was sick of me trying to prove myself appealing. But it sure was fun.
My point is sexuality is not body parts. Men love us for our essence. There sure are some great guys out there and I wish every one of you find one or keep the one you have, who will love you for who you are, just the way you are.
Mary Pat
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