Try to be yourself more often and enjoy a relaxed way of life


'To understand where you are going,' says the Celtic proverb, 'you must understand where you have come from.' What does 'home' mean to you? Perhaps you've just moved into a brandnew apartment, or maybe your family has lived in the same area or even in the same house for generations. Whether home is in a tiny town or in the middle of a city, the most reassuring thing about it is that you belong there, and that you have somewhere you can go where you are able to relax and just be yourself. It is the place where you belong.

To look at a street name or a farmhouse or a bridge and to have a sense of when it came to be there and why, and to know a little about the people who built or named it, brings stability and peace. Visit your local museum or council library one Saturday afternoon or during a lunch-hour. These places are a treasure trove of maps, deeds, site surveys and charts. The caretakers are often older volunteers, and they love nothing more than to tell you how things were in their day.

It's fascinating to learn that the one-way street you drive down each morning on the way to work used to be a tannery … or that the netball court at the local school was the site of a bomb shelter during World War II … or that Rosedale Avenue was so named because there was a market garden there, famous for its roses … or that the 'Sarah' of Sarah's Lookout was a young woman whose fiancé was killed in an accident, and who spent her days thereafter sadly walking along the foreshore at that spot … or that the ornate wrought-iron gates at the entrance to the local park were salvaged from the first farmhouse built in your area 150 years ago, long since demolished.

Poring over dusty glass cabinets containing photographs of long-dead soldiers and schoolchildren, newspaper clippings and letters in spidery handwriting is a powerful exercise in gaining perspective. You see your surroundings in a fresh light and feel a connection to the history of everyday human experience - these people were just like you.

'Do not care overly much for wealth, power or fame,' wrote Rudyard Kipling. 'One day you will meet someone who cares for none of these things and you will realise how poor you have become.' Peace of mind is definitely not about what - or how much - you get in life, it's about what you give back. Voluntary work and charitable activities enhance happiness, self-esteem, a sense of control, physical health and depression relief, all of which contribute to significantly redressing the balance of personal wellbeing and life satisfaction in your favour.

We all have so much to offer - money, love, ideas, elbow grease and expertise. However, even if your income is less than you'd like it to be, giving of your time will make you feel truly rich and generous. Use the gift of giving to make a difference to someone else's life, and to deepen your own sense of self-worth. Psychologists call this side-effect of helping others 'elevation' - the uplifting feeling you get when you do a really kind act, as though your heart is opening. Doing something for others also helps to minimise the effects of the ongoing, free-floating anxiety in our post-9/11 world. For example, researchers have found that volunteers who gave money and donated blood after the Bali bombings were better able to overcome their shock and anger. Consider the following ideas.

Volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter Even just an hour or two every six weeks can make a difference to people who truly need support. Help out at a wildlife rescue centre Often an injured animal's life depends on having someone at the end of a hotline who can collect them, and take them to a veterinary service outside of regular hours. Support your local school or sheltered workshop These places rely heavily on volunteers to paint rooms, fix gardens, donate old toys, clothing or recyclable materials, and much more.

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Note: This article was sent to us by: Celia Rumbers at 06092010

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